“I Touch Myself to Come Home to My Body”: A Public Celebration of Masturbation and Self-Pleasure

by : admin 7 年 ago

Photo: London Zhiloh

Note: Some of the photos on this post are NSFW.

We recently entered the of May and May just so happens to be International Masturbation Month, a month entirely devoted to solo sex and self-pleasure.

Masturbation isn鈥檛 just a method of getting off, it鈥檚 a tool you can use to explore yourself, to understand the way your body and your arousal works. It helps familiarize you with your sexual body so that you are better able to know what turns you on.

Because if you don鈥檛 know what turns you on, if you don鈥檛 know what gets you off, how in the world will your sexual partners know? And how will you be able to convey that to your partners?

Masturbation is a crucial part of sexual liberation.

To honor of this glorious month dedicated to the art of self-pleasuring, I thought it would be appropriate to share my masturbation origin story.

Here’s a snippet:

I remember being a little girl and touching myself at night while lying in bed, almost to lull myself to sleep. I don鈥檛 believe an orgasm or even arousal ever came from my touches, but I do remember that it felt wonderfully comforting, like a bear hug, like being rocked to sleep.

This became a ritual for years to come: touching myself until my eyes grew heavy and eventually closed shut with sleepiness.

I had always thought that what I did back then was a mere symptom of childhood, like when a kid sucks its thumb. It didn鈥檛 actually click until I intentionally gave myself my first orgasm that I finally understood that when I was聽small, I was touching myself for consolation as well as pleasure.

To finally have a bit of resolution to what I had done for most of my life, and to finally understand what it all meant. . . it was thrilling.聽I wasn鈥檛 crazy or sick; I was a natural, sexual being since birth.聽This聽was such a crazy beautiful realization.

Press play below to listen to the rest or click here.

To celebrate the most important sexual relationship there is,聽here are even more stories, resources, and self-pleasuring tips:

The history of International Masturbation Month鈥攈ow it got started, who created it, and why we celebrate it in the month of May:

“[T]he merry, merry month of May has long been seen as symbolizing sexual awakening. Also, because聽May and masturbation both start with M鈥攊t’s nice and alliterative.”

Plus! An interview with Dr. Joycelyn Elders, the person who inspired International Masturbation Month.

A few masturbation myths and facts:

“Masturbation is not simply a substitution for sex with a partner.”

If you’re having trouble achieving orgasm while masturbating:

“I learned, over time, and after much fretting, that you really have to be pretty intentional about orgasms, especially as a person with a vulva … At one point in my Orgasm Quest, I was even watching videos that *just* showed what a vulva looks like during orgasm, and trying to rate my own experiences against that.”

How to overcome shame while masturbating:

“Think back: Where did these [shameful] beliefs come from? Who put these ideas into your head and body? Can you pinpoint where it all began? It can be challenging to go inward and analyze where these unpretty thoughts originated, especially if they were born of trauma. But getting to the core of your sexual wounding is key.”

Drawing: Porn on Paper

Personal story:聽Why I touch myself:

“I touch myself to worship my skin and senses. I touch myself to reconnect with my heart space and quieten my mind. I touch myself to release tension, rage, sadness, or sheer joy. I touch myself to come home to my body.”

And a few more personal stories:

“I am in love with pleasuring me.”
“The guilt is gone…”
“Because of masturbation, I love my body.”

35 reasons to add masturbation into your self-care routine:

“We鈥檙e very familiar with the typical ways to exhibit聽self-care鈥攕aying no; sleeping in; moving our bodies; tuning into our intuitions; feeding ourselves nourishing foods; unplugging from the internet, etc.鈥攁nd solo-sex is an often overlooked. Not anymore!”

If you want to ween yourself off of your vibrator:

“I wanted more control of my arousal and more of a connection to my orgasm. I wanted slow sex. I wanted lasting juiciness. I wanted to continue to explore my sexuality聽without needing to be聽tethered to a battery-operated device. I especially wanted to experience the organic accumulation of sexual energy by playing with different sensations all over my body, not just on my clit.”

Some interactive worksheets from Afrosexology about masturbation:

I’m Feeling Myself! (To reclaim and explore your relationship with masturbation)
Masturbation Show (How to give your partners a solo sex performance)

Photo: Struchman

Playlists to touch yourself to:

When I’m feeling sexy
Current Mood
Finale
STICKWITU
How to make love with sound

How to practice solo sex magic like a sex witch:

“I鈥檓 not somebody who meditates every day, but I am someone who will masturbate at least once a week. That鈥檚 my spiritual practice.”

Plus! How to cast spells with your orgasms.

What to do if you think聽the fantasies you get off to in your head are unhealthy:

“That鈥檚 the great thing about fantasies: They don鈥檛 necessarily mean聽you must do in real life that which you find hot in your erotic imagination.”

Why I’m trying to masturbate more:

“Masturbating is now an expression of me taking my erotic power back. It鈥檚 an opportunity to hold myself accountable to my orgasm. It鈥檚 a way for me to renew a sexual relationship with myself, the first relationship there ever was, outside of my partner鈥檚 involvement.”

What it’s like to have sex with a crystal dildo:

“From the first time I used my crystal dildo, I could feel an incredible shift in my body, as if I had been cracked wide open to experience and receive a deeper kind of pleasure than I鈥檇 ever had with any toy before. And the orgasm was so intense, sending me on a kind of body-high, one that reverberated into my day-to-day.”