Forty-something dating brings a whole host of benefits as well as challenges. Rachael Lloyd shares the six things you really should know about dating in your 40s
While dating in your 40s might seem daunting, there are actually many advantages to being flirtatious in your fifth decade.
Being forty-something means you can draw on rich life experiences and emotional insights to make more informed choices. You’re still relatively youthful and adventurous, yet older and wiser at the same time.
You can probably detect a lack of authenticity in a potential date a mile away, and you’re far less likely to be easily seduced by super-flattering conversation. You’re invariably more cautious and less impulsive than you were in your younger years.
What’s more, today there are far more singles in their forties than ever before. Nobody has to feel ‘on the shelf’ or worry about a lack of options. 40 really is the new 30!
Emotional baggage awareness
According to the Office of National Statistics, the average age for divorce is 45 for men and 42 for women. So, whatever your own circumstances, chances are, you’re going to encounter a fair few divorcees (or so-called ‘second timers’) in the dating pool.
It also has to be said that dating in your 40s probably means both you and your date will be carrying some emotional baggage – but who isn’t? The point is that challenging experiences often make us stronger in the long run.
This is the time in life when you know what you’re looking for, and you shouldn’t be afraid to say so. If you have children or step-children, then you may be seeking someone who’ll be happy to take them on in the long-run, for example.
Be yourself and own your experience
Equally, if you’ve never been married nor had children, don’t let anyone make you feel that you’re somehow lacking. There’s a perception that men or women who haven’t settled down by the time they hit their 40s are afraid to commit. But, it may be that they prioritised other areas of their lives, such as career or travel, or they simply weren’t in a hurry to get hitched.
As with dating at any age, don’t feel you have to share your entire life history on the first or second date. Just give and seek enough information to get a reasonable handle on things.
Critically, don’t let anyone tell you it’s time to settle. While being in a relationship can be an amazing addition to many people’s lives, there are countless others who will tell you otherwise. Better to be single than suffocating!
Ultimately, a relationship should empower you. The same goes for dating. So go on, seize the moment and jump in.
